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I’m only 22 and not ready for marriage. Does God really expect me to stay a virgin?

I believe there is a God and I go to church sometimes, but I don’t have a close relationship with Him. Right now, I’m only 22 and I feel like He forgives me and loves me in spite of the choices i make. I’ll have a better relationship with Him later, when I’m ready to be serious. I feel like girls are better at self-control and spirituality. I’ve been dating these non-christian girls and I know I’m not ready for a marriage or anything, so does God really expect me to stay a virgin until I’m in my late 20s or 30s?

Thank you for this important question and for your honesty in your feelings and thoughts.  I will be honest and blunt with you, so prepare for some hard meat. 

In the Great Controversy, which you and I are in, there are only two sides: God vs. Satan, good vs. evil, light vs. darkness.  Which side do you want to be on?  Of couse, I can read your mind, and your answer is God, good, and light.  You want to have salvation and eternal life with God in heaven, right?  But your body, your testosterone, says you want sex, outside of marriage, which is Satan's plan for you, which will lead you toward evil and sin. 

If you want to live your life according to what Satan offers, go to the bars, night clubs, movies, television shows, pop music and even friends and co-workers who engage in sex outside of marriage as a form of pleasure.  The world will teach you that sex is fun and pleasurable. For boys, it offers power, control and pleasure.  For girls, it offers fun, excitment and acceptance.   But what does sex do to your body and brain when it is outside of marriage? 

If you want to shut off your frontal lobe, which God has created as the most powerful organ in the universe, and engage your mind and body into the enticements that the devil has created to counter the wonderful image of God in our bodies, then go ahead, do it.

If you want to discover what, as you ask, “God really expect me to?” then go to the Bible. 

“Run from sexual sin!  No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does.  For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”  1 Corinthians 6:18 (New Living Translation)

“How could I do such a wicked thing?  It would be a great sin against God.”  Genesis 39:9 (New Living Translation) (Joseph's response to Potiphar's wife on invitation to sexual immorality)

“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage.  God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.”  Hebrews 13:4 (NLT)

“God's will for you is to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.  Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like the pagans do who do not know God and his ways.”  1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)

Not only is the Word of God teaching you to remain sexually pure and holy, that which is only for marriage, but the medical world is teaching with new research that having multiple sex partners and sex outside of marriage can result severe risks for addictions to drugs, alcohol, unhealthy sexual behaviors, depression, lowered congitive functioning, and eventually suicide.  This is the latest reseach data from Sexual Behavior May Influence Depression by Dr. Neil Nedley & Eddie Ramirez1, and thousands of patients that have gone through his program.  The statistical data shows that people who engage in such sexual behaviors are at high risk for these dangerous life situations. 

So if you want to go ahead and have some fun, this is what you can expect as side effects from engaging in sexual activity now.  I speak harshly to you young man, because I was in the same shoes as you at your age; young, hot, successful.  Well, not the hot and successful part, but I was once young.  And I did experience the same kind of thoughts…why can't I have fun like all my friends are? 

Go to God, and don't stray to the world, for your eternity counts on your decisions today!

For more info on Depression Recovery, Dr. Neil Nedley and their statiscal research data, please go to nedleyhealthysolutions.com

1 Sexual Behavior May Influence Depression / Emotional Intelligence in Persons Involved in Sexual Relationships Outside Marriage

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