Addictions, Habits and Compulsions
How many of us are addicted to something that we want to be free of? We all have some kind of addiction in our lives and many of us don’t even realize that some of these addictions are harmful to us, like pre-marital sex or serial-dating. We all know what heroin or alcohol addiction can do but in many ways, covert or subtler addictions may be worse because either we are unaware of our condition or unaware of its consequences. Many of us acknowledge that we have addictions but how many are actively seeking freedom from its bondage? The first step to recovery is understanding the problem, and the second, is something we already have called oxytocin.
I recently heard a series of lectures by Dr. Tim Jennings, a psychiatrist, and what he had to say literally blew my mind. I will summarize as best as I can.
Oxytocin is a hormone that is produced by the hypothalamus of our brains and is secreted by the pituitary gland. When oxytocin is secreted outside the brain, it is responsible for milk production in mothers and contractions of the uterus during delivery. Many of us learned about this aspect of oxytocin in biology class but did you know that it is also responsible for human bonding and relationships when secreted inside the brain?
Oxytocin:
1. is non-cognitive, meaning that when oxytocin is present in the brain, one does not have a choice but to bond or connect with others.
2. causes selective amnesia, which is why we sometimes only remember the good and not the bad.
3. is our brain’s defense against addictions of any kind. Keep this in mind when we talk about drug and alcohol addiction.
4. needs to work in conjunction with dopamine to be effective.
5. is produced from skin-to-skin contact like hugs, massage, sex but only works in a stress-free environment. It won’t work on the brain if stress hormones are present from fear or anxiety which is a good thing because we wouldn’t want to non-cognitively bond to a rapist who is touching you with one hand, while the other hand is holding a gun.
We can see the effects that oxytocin has on people. For instance, people with William’s syndrome have no social fears whatsoever. These people have a chromosomal abnormality where they are born with great numbers of oxytocin receptors and therefore bond with anyone and everyone. They can be in a room full of murderers and feel totally trusting and connected. The exact opposite of William’s syndrome is autism. These kids have reduced numbers of oxytocin receptors and oxytocin and therefore are not socially bonded and often stare off into space. And there are in-between conditions on the oxytocin spectrum that cause OCD and anxiety disorders. Oxytocin is what causes the bond between soldiers in times of war. It is the reason why a soldier would fall on a grenade to save his fellow comrades.
God’s original design was for mankind to experience happiness and so our brains are hard-wired for pleasure. His main purpose for us was to live life more abundantly. When oxytocin is secreted in the brain while in a healthy, happy, stress-free marriage: husband and wife are deeply bonded in love, just like mother and baby are bonded from the surge of oxytocin during child birth. But when there is adultery: the feeling of guilt, the feeling of anxiety and stress of getting caught prevent oxytocin production and bonding, and a rift forms between husband and wife.
Oxytocin production was supposed to be for bonding between man and God, between man and wife, between siblings. But when oxytocin is produced in unhealthy relationships for self-seeking pleasure (the one-night stand to fill the lonely nights or to forget an ex-girlfriend; with each subsequent breakup and new relationship), oxytocin production is less and less. Eventually, the person becomes a cold-blooded, unfeeling person. It’s no wonder why some people turn to drugs and alcohol. These people are searching for God and because they are lost, they turn to what’s accessible.
And here is the kicker: oxytocin is our natural protection against addiction. When oxytocin production is minimal, we have no defense against addiction! We are prone to getting addicted to drinking, partying, jumping from relationship to relationship, or drugs. And then the vicious cycle really starts. Did you know that cocaine destroys the dopamine production centers in the brain? We learned that oxytocin needs dopamine to work and without it, even if there is oxytocin in the brain, it’s ineffective. Not only drugs, but also any kind of stress defeats oxytocin. Without healthy oxytocin, we cannot have healthy bonding between friends, spouses, siblings, parents (autism is an extreme example). Catecholamines or stress hormones circulating in the body inhibit oxytocin. And conversely, there are oxytocin receptors in the amygdala, or fear center of the brain, which when oxytocin binds there, the fear center shuts down.
Many problems and circumstances in life are caused by a disruption of these systems, making us unable to govern ourselves. If the amygdala keeps firing and does not shut down, as is the case in constant "worriers" or constant stress, macrophages and cytokines are released throughout the body that cause neurotransmission problems. These inflammatory factors cause a cascade of events that lead to gene transmission problems, mental health problems, physical ailments, disease, etc. Jesus says don't worry about tomorrow. Lay all burdens at his feet and get that amygdala to stop sounding the alarm.
Fear is the medium of death and our relationship with God and each other. Stress of getting caught cheating, stress of getting caught watching porn by your mom, stress on the job, or stress from illness: fear is the modality of Satan. Love is the modality of God. Fear suppresses oxytocin, love fosters and produces it. Having a fearful image of God inhibits oxytocin which prevents bonding with our Lord, just as fearing getting caught in adultery would prevent deep bonding with your spouse. But when we have the right image of God, a loving and caring God, we bond with Him. When we have a healthy loving marriage, we bond with our spouse. Fear is the medium of death. Love is the medium of life.
When people use heroin, opioid receptors are triggered and endorphins are released. That causes euphoria. When people use cocaine, dopamine centers are stimulated and that causes a high… when people use alcohol, inhibitions are reduced… when people use MDMA or ecstacy, serotonin is released. Society has done a good job of stigmatizing illegal drugs and yet people still use and seek them out. This is their search for God. But society has done the opposite when it comes to sex. Look at Hollywood and the media. Sex is glorified and omnipresent; that's why the sex addiction program is called "Every man’s battle." And many of us do not know how damaging and addicted we are. Look at King David who was "after God's own heart." Look at King Solomon who was the wisest man who ever lived. We are oxytocin depleted thereby leaving us defenseless against addiction; defenseless against Satan! Are we thinking on the Word of God or lusting after flesh?
The other day, I had a dream where I was tempted to cheat on my wife, with three very beautiful women. Let me reiterate this was only a dream. And I resisted them by saying "I don't want to hurt my wife." When I awoke, I told my wife the dream and how I was "victorious." But I prayed to God for real salvation. Rather than abstain for my wife's sake, I asked God for the day when I would abstain because my heart had no desire for it. That would be a joyous day. That would be freedom and true happiness.
Let's be desperate for new hearts. Do whatever it takes. For instance, I have pretty bad eyesight and without my glasses, I can hardly see anything. Well, when I'm out, I walk around with my glasses off, squinting to make out faces. I even bump into things sometimes. But I am doing everything I can to change my habits from looking and lusting after things in the hopes that the Lord will have mercy on me. Now I'm not saying walk around with your eyes closed. I'm saying do whatever it takes to RETRAIN your thoughts, blaze new synaptic pathways, to find freedom from the bondage of our addictions.
Understand that we cannot do this by our own action, like walking around without my glasses. Without beholding God's love, walking around blind won't do anything except cause an accident. But the more and more we meditate and contemplate on the Love of God, and cling to His cloak as if our lives depended on it, not only would we be able to walk around with our "glasses" on, we would be able to stand in the fiery furnace, we would be able to truly love our enemies. The GOOD NEWS is that we will become what we behold. Thinking on the Lord and His goodness will blaze new synaptic paths, like Peter walking on water. When we draw near to God, He draws near to us. Let's do whatever we can to help the Lord draw near to us. Let's be desperate as if it were life and death, and not only find freedom from our addictions but becoming addicted to God.
For more information on this, please visit www.comeandreason.com for lectures by Dr. Tim Jennings, MD.
Paul Yew is a dentist, owner and operator of: www.mydovedentist.com