Call Me Beautiful
previously published in February 2006
Deep in the heart of every woman is a desire. The fleeting thought that “I” just might one day be most precious to “someone” is almost enough to catch the breath, awaken a far-away look in the eyes, release a sigh, and send a hopeful chill down the spine. Often, a specific picture of “the one” is not even that clear. The mind of a young woman can sometimes be a little random: “Maybe I’ve met him already.” “Maybe I haven’t.” “Maybe I’ll see him this weekend!” “He must be somewhere out there, shouldn’t he be?” My purpose in writing this article is: One, plant a seed in you to picture life “beyond dating.” Two, to remind you, maybe for the first time of this: You are beautiful. Let that truth soak in for a moment. “So,” the thought may have crossed your mind. “How in the world do I get from here—‘sixteen and never been kissed’ (or fourteen and have been definitely more than kissed) to that ‘perfect place’ where all my dreams come true?” You may have wondered, “Is it only for the ‘pretty ones,’ the popular, totally beautiful chicks that all the guys want?”
Okay, let’s take a quick glance at “what’s happenin’ and what’s not.” Let’s start with a popular activity between men and women at your school or between your friends. You can easily guess it. That’s right, the “d” word: dating! Yay! Here are four questions to think about:
Question one: What is “dating,” anyway?
It’s funny, when I ask this question to groups or individual high-school students, I almost always receive immedicate looks of excited-befuddled-sheepish-confusion, like “Uh, I should know this one…” So, even if I can’t see your face (too bad for me), I’d like to ask you, what’s dating? Stop and answer that before reading on. Really, what is it? About this time, common answers usually begin to emerge like, “When like, you have a friend that’s a guy or a girl.” To which I respond with something like, “Okay, he’s my friend,” pointing to a guy in the group, “Are we dating?” Often, knowing snickers come from the group, with a resounding, “No.” What’s dating?
Question two: What’s the point of dating?
a.) “To have someone to talk to that’s a guy. Afterall, guys have a different perspective on life than girls.”
b.) “To find someone to marry (‘I don’t want to be married until I’m at least done with college and my masters, that’s seven years from now, I should start now.’).”
c.) To practice relating to men for when I married.
d.) Uh, what do you think?
Have you picked one? These are among the most popular answers I get.
Question three: What’s the payoff of dating?
Think of one friend (the “friend” could even be you) who has had a boyfriend and is not dating him now. Think about the experience she had. Think about what the experience left her with. Was it really worth it? What was worth it? What was not. Be honest.
Question four: What’s the point of marriage?
Stop. Think about it. What’s the purpose of marriage? Why get married? If it would help, grab a pen and scribble a quick answer in the margin of this article. Alright, the one question I will answer in this article is question four. The purpose of marriage is to glorify God. So, as you imagine the man of God for you, ask yourself these questions: Will your relationship with this guy glorify God? Will you be able to better serve Him and people because you are with him? Women reflect the image of God in beauty—isn’t that cool? God made us women to feel deeply. He created us with the need to love and be loved, to know and be known (Gilbert Bilezikian, Community 101, Zondervan:1997), to be cherished and to care deeply for someone else. He created us with the ability to express our affection in a meaningful way. We’re good at it. He made us to be!
We’re women, baby! I love being a girl! Don’t you?