Facing Unanswered Prayers
Prayer is an important component of every Christian’s life. It’s comforting to know that we can always say a prayer and ask God to intercede for us, as a Father. However, there are many times when our prayers go unanswered or we have to wait a long time for an answer to our prayers. How many of us have prayed for a new job, a new relationship, or changes to our current circumstance—only to be disappointed when God doesn’t answer our prayers?
Recently, I saw a Facebook post that showed a picture of Jesus kneeling before a little girl. In the picture, Jesus is asking for her teddy bear, which the little girl is holding tightly. “But I love it, God.” the caption bubble over the little girl states. The caption bubble over Jesus’s head says, “Trust me.” Behind his back, Jesus is holding a teddy bear twice the size of the one the little girl is clinging to.
We often cling to our plans, or to our idea of what we think is best for our lives. We say to God, “But I love…[insert dream/plan here] without considering that God might have a different path for us. A popular phrase you may have heard: “Man makes plans, God laughs.” Often, we become attached to our plans without asking God whether or not our plans correlate with His plans for us. We cling tightly to our idea of what will make us happy, without considering that God might have much more in store for us—more than we can possibly imagine.
Giving up our “teddy bears,” or plans and dreams, is not easy. Often the disappointment of unanswered prayers is crushing, and God’s silence or refusal to grant our prayer request is hard to swallow. However, one thing to remember when struggling with unanswered prayers is that God loves us. It is one of the first and best things we learn about Christ as Christians—that God loves us so much that He sent his son to die for us unconditionally. Jesus pointed out the depth of this love while He was here on Earth. In Matthew 7:9-11 Jesus asks, “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
This Bible verse tells us a lot about God’s nature and his approach to prayers. God loves us and wants to give us good gifts in our lives. He is our Father and He is Almighty—there is nothing that we cannot ask him for. However, there are reasons for God not giving us the gifts that we ask him for. It may be that God knows that our idea of good gifts is really “snakes” that God can foresee hurting us. Or, God knows that something better is coming if we are patient and wait for a different gift, instead of the one we are requesting. God’s ability to love us and want what is best for us, as well as to provide answers to prayers accordingly, demonstrates His love to us. When doubt creeps into our minds, or when we doubt if God even has a plan, one of the best things to focus on is the nature and the wisdom of Christ. It is not in God’s nature to vindictively ignore us, or purposefully give us stones instead of bread. It is in his nature to love us and to give us good gifts when He knows that they are in our best interest and will bless us.
One of my favorite quotes is by Helen Keller. She said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long and so regretfully at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Although I can suggest that focusing on God’s word and His nature can help us to cope with or better understand our unanswered prayers, it does not change the searing disappointment or anger that can follow an unanswered prayer.
I have often stood in front of the doors of my dreams and asked God, “Why are you making me suffer?” “Why can’t you see that what I’m praying for will make me happy/fix my problems/etc.?” “Why aren’t you listening to me?”
However, this kind of behavior limits our ability to appreciate the doors that are open, the ones that God has opened for us in lieu of the doors that are closed. As long as our gaze is concentrated solely on our unanswered prayer, we cannot look behind us or to the left or the right to see the other options and plans that God has opened up for us. It even limits us from appreciating the current blessings God has given us. One thing we can proactively do in times of unanswered prayers is to step away from the door of our unanswered prayers and look around at all the other blessings and opportunities God have given us. This practice can help us to recognize all of our “doors of happiness.”
My prayer for myself and anyone waiting for a prayer to be answered, is to be granted the grace and strength needed, to let go of the plans we have, in order to make room for the plans God has for us. My prayer is also that we gain the wisdom and the ability to recognize and accept the doors that God has closed, so that our eyes can be opened to see the doors to the blessings that God has chosen instead for us. Lastly, my prayer is that we be granted faith in God so that we can trust that He loves us, He will provide and believe He has a plan for us; the wisdom to discern the difference between a “no” and a “wait;” and the grace to accept a “no,” despite our disappointment. In Jesus’ name I pray—Amen.
Ashley works for a law firm in Los Angeles.