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How do you know when you’re ready for a relationship?

How do you know when you’re ready for a relationship?

Thank you for this question, but I really need to know what type of relationship you are talking about?  It really depends on where you are in life, and what you are looking for?  If you are considering a marriage relationship, then the answers will be totally different from a relationship of dating and getting to know the person of the opposite gender.

So I will share a short answer from a few different perspectives. 

First, if you are a teenager, let’s say in high school, and you want to begin dating someone for the very first time in your life, then let us consider the big picture here.  Every relationship, regardless of your age or situation in life, must be based on mutual respect, loyalty and kindness.  There must be solid communication between two people that is based on honesty.  So if you look in the mirror, and ask yourself, “do I have these qualities?”  If the answer is “no,” then you’re probably not ready to engage in any type of relationship. 

In order to possess good qualities for a relationship, a person should be focused more on others rather than your own thoughts and feelings.  If two people are to be in a relationship, then two sets of thoughts and feelings will collide into one.  So you can’t be a selfish little baby if you want to date.  Surprisingly, there are a lot of little babies out there dating. 

Second, as a teenager, you are probably living at home with your parents, who provide for you, not only physical well-being, but nurture your mind and soul as well.  In other words, your parents are your teachers for wisdom and emotional stability.  They should be able to guide you through lifes ups and downs.  They should be able to steer you in the right direction, so that you will stay away from danger.   I say “should” because there are some parents that do not have a clue about raising children. 

The focal point about parents and relationships is that you should openly communicate with your parents and not hold any secrets from them.   The more you share with each other the better your relationship and experience will be in getting to know more people.  This is part of the 5th commandment of God, where it says, “Honor your father and mother.”  Trying to have a secret relationship will be harmful to you and your family. 

If you are considering a marriage relationship, I suggest that you read Ellen White’s books on dating and preparation for marriage.  They can be found in Letters to Young Lovers, Messages to Young People, and The Adventist Home.

When you are an independant person, seeking a lifelong relationship, then much prayer and devotion must be spent with God.  Searching for who you are as person and what your purpose in life should coincide with God’s eternal plan for His children.  God’s plan for your life can be found in the Bible. 

In order to prepare your life for holy matrimony, one should be founded in all areas of life; physical, spiritual and mental.  A true relationship can only be possible through the holiness of God.  Happy dating!


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