Psalm 22
While the gospel writers reported what they saw and heard, they were not given the privilege of reading Christ's mind. However, through the inspiration of Holy Spirit, the Old Testament reveals what was actually running through His mind as He struggled on the Cross. Psalm 22 gives a detailed account of His inner most thoughts in the last agonizing moments of His life.
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are you so far from helping Me?"
A thick and heavy darkness covered our Savior's soul. He could not see through the portals of the tomb (DA 753). His Father's face was completely hidden from Him (Isaiah 59:2). Because His heart was guilt-ridden as He bore our sins in His own body (1 Peter 2:24), Christ felt totally abandoned by His Father. Unbearable despair and loneliness engulfed His soul as the light of His Father's presence, ever the source of His joy and gladness, was being fully withdrawn from Him.
"O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; And in the night season, and am not silent."
Just like in Gethsemane, in His hour of suffering and conflict, Jesus cries out to His father. But this time, there is no answer!! Yet, He doesn't give up. He persistently cries out to His Father. Still, there is no answer! Now the darkness begins to cover the hill of Golgotha. Every second feels like hours. To Jesus, it seems as though the day is gone and night is already at hand. His sense of time is distorted because of the intense agony.
"But You are holy, Enthroned in the praises of Israel. Our fathers trusted in You; They trusted, and You delivered them; They cried to You, and were delivered; They trusted in You, and were not ashamed"
Jesus begins to think that God is too holy to hear the cries of such a lowly sinner as He. He searches through the Scripture in His mind to gain some comfort. There, Christ finds the loving and gracious God who had always heard the cries of His trusting forefathers. God had always been faithful to them. He had always delivered them.
"But I am a worm, and no man; A reproach of men, and despised by the people."
Still, the guilt of our sin weighs heavily upon His soul and He feels that He was not even worthy to be called a human. He is tempted to believe that even the most gracious Father ignores His persistent cries. Thus He concludes, "I am a worm, and no man." Oh what wondrous love is this!! How low did our Savior descend to lift us up!!
"All those who see Me ridicule Me; They shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, 'He trusted in the LORD, let Him rescue Him; Let Him deliver Him, since He delights in Him!'"
The very people that He came to save, the ones who owe Him the greatest amount of love, gratitude, and respect—taunt Him openly for the sacrifice He is making on their behalf. They transform the Cross, from which He poured out His love, into a tool of derision and mockery. The pain of betrayal and scorned love breaks His heart.
"But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother’s womb You have been My God. Be not far from Me, For trouble is near; For there is none to help."
Now, Jesus looks back at His life. From the moment of His birth, He was dependent on God; God had been a faithful guardian all the days of His life. But where is God now when Jesus needs Him the most? He feels like He is about to drown as the overwhelming sense of disappointment and despair floods His soul.
"Many bulls have surrounded Me; Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled Me. They gape at Me with their mouths, Like a raging lion and roaring lion."
Bashan is a land of Giants (Deut 3:11-13). Strong bulls of Bashan have surrounded Jesus to destroy Him. Here, Jesus is not talking about the evil men standing around His Cross. He is not even talking about the Satanic angels that are goading these men on. There is no physical power that could have destroyed Jesus, for He was God. If Jesus wanted to come off the Cross He could have easily done it. There was no reason for Him to even pray to His Father to get Him off the Cross. His hanging on the Cross, was completely and totally a voluntarily act of love (John 10:18). His struggle was not to get off the Cross. His struggle was to stay on the Cross and be cut off from His Father forever.
Satan wrung the heart of Jesus with his temptation: "Jesus, if you die here like this, you will be cut off from your Father forever!" "Why would you do that?" "No one even understands what you are doing!" "Absolutely no one appreciates your sacrifice. It's all for nothing!" "Even your elite disciples have all run away." "Your own mother is praying that you'd come down from the Cross!" "Why would you ever give up the eternal embrace of your Father's love for these ignorant, ungrateful, and faithless rebels?" "Are you out of your mind? Are you really going to give up the praise of the angels, your everlasting throne, and your infinite life as Mighty God for these maggots?"
Everything Satan was saying was basically correct. It made too much sense. The temptation shook Him up to the core of His being. With every ounce of strength He had, Jesus fought off the temptation to get off the Cross. But these temptations kept charging at Him like the raging bulls of Bashan.
"I am poured out like water, And all My bones are out of joint; My heart is like wax; It has melted within Me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, And My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death."
As He kept fighting off Satan's temptations with all His might, Jesus was spent. He was "poured out like water." While He was struggling with Satan, His mental agony was so great that Jesus had momentarily forgotten about His physical pain. But now that His mental strength was totally spent, He feels the physical pain all coming back to Him as if someone had suddenly twisted His body inside out. He feels like every bone in His body is out of joint. The pain is so great, that He is on the verge of insanity ("My heart is melting within Me"). And the pain of being twisted out joint is amplified as He is all dried up from the continual bleeding; He feels like death to the nth degree ("You have brought Me to the dust of death").
"For dogs have surrounded Me; The congregation of the wicked has enclosed Me. They pierced My hands and My feet; I can count all My bones. They look and stare at Me. They divide My garments among them, And for My clothing they cast lots. But You, O LORD, do not be far from Me; O My Strength, hasten to help Me! Deliver Me from the sword, My precious life from the power of the dog. Save Me from the lion’s mouth And from the horns of the wild oxen!"
Again, Jesus is not cursing the wicked men as "dogs;" the dogs that surround Jesus are our sinful desire to save self—sins was laid upon Him (Isaiah 53:6). Jesus isn't talking about the nice, domestic pets here, but rather, the wild street dogs that are driven by their survival instincts. When Jesus saw that the very people He came to save were piercing His hands and feet, inflicting Him with unbearable amount of pain (to the point where He can count all His bones), and nonchalantly casting lots to divide His garments among them, an almost overmastering instinct to abandon the Cross and save Himself was aroused.
This survival instinct was what He called "the power of the dog." In fact, this "power of the dog" was so overwhelming that Jesus felt like He was about to cave in to this temptation. He cries out an urgent prayer, "O My Strength, hasten to help Me! Deliver...My precious life from the power of the dog" The "life" that He was desperately crying out to preserve was His life of unconditional love for us.
He wasn't crying out for the salvation of His physical life, for He could have simply saved Himself. No, no, no! He was crying out for the strength to die for us! To Him, that was the salvation! Hanging on to His love for us to the end of Himself, that was His idea of salvation!! He was in the lion's mouth. One snap, and He would have gotten off the Cross. He was caught between the horns of the wild oxen. One toss, and He would have gotten off the Cross. The destiny of the human race was teetering on the edge.
"You have answered Me."
In this dire moment, Jesus had an epiphany. He caught Himself desperately pleading with the Father to give Him the strength to hold on to His love for the completely unworthy, faithless, rebels. Where did He get this incredible love? "You have answered Me," 'Father must have been with Me the whole time!' 'Father must have given me this love in my heart!!' 'Father must have had sustained this love in my heart the whole time!!' He concludes. There was no new evidence given by God at this time. Jesus pushed back the darkness by faith! Thus He became the author and finisher of our faith (Heb 12:2)
"I will declare Your name to My brethren; In the midst of the assembly I will praise You...All the ends of the world Shall remember and turn to the Lord, And all the families of the nations Shall worship before You."
The rest of the Psalm 22 is Christ praising the Father. Our Lord, our Savior, our God lowering himself to become our "brethren." And He is praising God for giving Him the strength to remain Our Brother to the end! He died for the joy that was set before Him (Heb 12:2). That joy was seeing you and me become the children of God! Indeed, He gladly loved us to the end, the utter end of Himself (John 13:1).
Eric Chung is an elder at Westchester Korean SDA Church and works at Managing Partner, Key Capital Management, LLC