Reflections on Change
I have a friend who calls the Christian life, “A Happy Struggle.” Yes, I know – not encouraging at all. But he says that if you’re not struggling, you are no longer hearing the Holy Spirit. This does not mean the Holy Spirit no longer speaking to you; He would never stop doing that. It’s just that when we’ve moved so far away from God that we’ve stop listening to His urging, we no longer recognize His voice and eventually stop following the law written in our hearts.
What law, you ask? Well, Jesus said it best, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matt 22:37-39).
This quarter, we’ve been studying the book of Galatians, and my friend and I have been having some heated discussions. But we’ve never disagreed that God loves us, died for us, and wants a relationship with all of us.
This week’s lesson especially caught my attention, with regards to Adam and Eve. God created them and the law of Love was written in their hearts. Once they sinned, they struggled to follow that law. Our sinful “nature” really isn’t our nature, but a genetic mutation passed down from our ancestors. The idea of our original inclination to love God is especially hard to swallow, only because I feel like I’ve been struggling since I was taught right from wrong. How many of us struggle against doing the right thing? I hate to bring up action/behavior because it really isn’t about behavior. You may think your sin is behavior-based, but it really is a question of do you love God or not? Do you have a relationship with Him or not?
I’ve been truly blessed with Godly friends - friends, who’ve encouraged me, been there for me, and said what I needed to hear - not always what I liked hearing, but what I needed to hear. It’s because of them that I even desire a relationship with God and that I know what it means to have a relationship, as opposed to just “living a Christian life.”
But I sometimes look at them and wonder how they make it seem so easy. You know who I mean. They’re the people at your church who are oh so sweet, patient, faithful, and sooo nice.
How is it that faith seems to come so easily to them, but I have to constantly curb my sinful thoughts, sinful actions, and sinful feelings? Thoughts!! They just pop into my head. How do you control that?!
I’m not a theologian, so let’s put aside any disagreements you have with my theology. What I present to you is my experience. My embarrassing, hypocritical life.
I have to confess that I’m a fake. I come to church, sit in the pews, and listen to the sermons, but after church, I go home and the rest of the week, my true self comes out. I really have nothing to say to defend myself. I have no right to say anything to you. Who I am to write this article when my own spiritual life is a joke? An act. I am probably the most talented actress. Or maybe everyone has figured me out, but is just too nice to say anything.
I know what I should do, but I don’t do it. Instead I do what I don’t want to do.
Its true God loves me Just As I Am, but who I am is not anywhere close to being worthy of being His friend andI’m not happy as I am. I’m still angry, impatient, hypocritical, and self-righteous (when I have no reason to be).
So I need to change. And thank God, He has been changing me.
You think I’m bad now; I was horrible in high school, college, and after. So self-righteous and judgmental, I regret having alienated anyone and having been a stumbling block to them. I sometimes feel like I haven’t changed at all, but I have. And some may look at me (especially my family) and think that I haven’t changed, but I have.
It’s just been a reallllly…sloooow…process. And thank God, He will continue to change me. Who I was in my 20s, is not who I am now.
It’s inevitable that people will change. It comes hand-in-parcel with our ability to make choices. Who you are now is different from who you were when you were in middle school, high school, college, mid-20s, early 30s, etc. We all change.
As we come to the end of another year, looking back, do you have anything you regret? If so, remember that it’s in the past and don’t dwell on it. Easier said than done – I know. Are you going to make a resolution you can’t keep? Instead, I encourage you to make a choice. Believe that God loves you.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22, 23)
There’s a reason why the first fruit is Love. God’s love will bring you joy and peace. With His love, joy and peace in your heart - how can you not be patient and gentle? You will be emulating His goodness. His faith in you will help your faith grow, and submitting to Him won’t be considered weak. Even in your darkest struggle – He loves you. And as the fruits manifest themselves, you’ve learned temperance, overcoming your inner struggle; and there’s no longer a law in your heart – you…just…love.
Make the time to get to know God. Study (not just read) the Gospel according to Mark. Do not start with Genesis. I know you’ll make a resolution to start reading the Bible, starting with Genesis, but by March you’ll be stuck in Leviticus. Study the four gospel books, starting with Mark, then John, Matthew and then Luke.
Question how the passage is relevant to you. What are they trying to tell you about God’s love? You may not always see God in a good light, but remember God loves and receive His answers.
Or read a chapter of Steps to Christ every day. Read Desire of Ages. You may think they’re dry and boring, but it’s like The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn; you’ll grow into it (I’m not comparing EG White to Mark Twain – just using an example.) Don’t force yourself to read them, but make a note to read them eventually.
Get to know God, and don’t rely on other people’s experiences. It won’t take a week, or even a month but over time, you will see God working in your life.
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Yung Mi (Faith) Suh is one of the youth leaders of the Westchester Korean SDA Church. I know, scary.
Thank you for your honesty in writing this article. I just heard a sermon about the Christian walk. He said that he wished that he had learned a lesson about being a Christian that he said he wished he had learned when he first first become converted. He said that walking with Jesus is a process and that at first it is not pleasant or easy in doing the “right” thing. He quoted Jesus’ teaching of not putting old wine in a new wine skin. But as we grow in faith, we become accustomed to the new more “sanctified” way and we grow in grace. Is it always evident to the world that you are changing? Perhaps or perhaps not but that is not what is important. What is important is that God sees that you are trying. It is not about the works program but we can see change by seeing what “fruits” we are growing.
I was surprised to read books like Jeremiah and see how so many of his teachings echoed Jesus’? Isn’t only the New Testament that spoke about turning the other cheek and walking the second mile? The prophet kept exhorting the people to change their ways and turn to God. But how do they show that they are repentant? By doing good, by providing for the poor and needy, by giving to the widow and the orphan?
What advice did Daniel have for Nebuchadnezzar when he foretold of his turning into a beast for seven years? He told him to “Renounce your wickedness by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed.” Dan 4:27
So, every time we obey the voice of the Holy Spirit bidding us to do good, we are breaking those bonds that bring enmity to God. But every time we do the opposite and give into our selfish desires we do the weaken the bond to God. It’s always a battle between selfishness and selflessness.
But the good news in all this is that God is with you all the way! Whether you are succeeding in your walk or backsliding, He is with you and loves you unconditionally. In Psalms, he talks about how even if we are in hell, God is with us. It really warms my heart to hear that. As a mother I can relate. Even if one of my children becomes a mass murderer or some other heinous outcome, does it stop me from loving that child? I will be heartbroken but nothing can stop me from loving my child.
The sermon that I was referring to earlier related this story as his concluding remarks. If you are paddling in a boat in a river, would you rather see a person struggling to the surface (a person who is drowning) or would you rather see a corpse? Of course the audience announced that they would rather see the struggling person because the person has a chance of being saved. The speaker concluded the struggle shows that there is life.
As long as we have life in our bodies, there will be a struggle. But three things I am thankful for in this struggle. One,is that God is with me all the way. Two, is that I have my fellow Christians to help me up when I fall. Third, is God speaking to me in different ways; the Bible, sermons on the internet, Christian literature, Christian music and through Christian leaders. I thank God that you are one of my sisters that encourage me in my Christian walk.
Jane Chung (#1) – December 05, 2011