Respond to the Holy Spirit
In April 2012, I was sharing a house with a Hispanic married couple, George and Natalie Perez, who were in their mid 20’s, and their 3 year old son, George Jr. We were all students going through the daily drudge of studying and clinical. As poor college students, we tended to eat cheap fast food and one night, we decided to get Little Cesar’s 5 dollar pizzas. George volunteered to go out and get the pizzas.
As George returns home, I remember distinctly being in the living room talking to Natalie. He walks into the house pensive, I thought. My roommate opens up and begins to tell us about how he met a homeless man at the restaurant asking for money. George told the homeless man that he didn’t have money but offered bread rolls instead. As George started to walk away after giving this man food, he received a prompting to stop and to talk with the man (In hindsight, we believe it was the Holy Spirit speaking to George).
After talking for a little while, they found out they had something in common: they both had children. They talked a little more and George left the pizzeria, feeling compassion for this man named Vincent. After telling us this story, he asks us if we would be ok with housing this man for the night. My first thought was to a psych experience I had at a rehabilitation center with homeless people suffering from mental disease: I automatically assumed the worst about this man and began to express my opposition. To my surprised Natalie, the protective mother of a 3-year-old, was open to this idea. I finally compromised to at least meet this man and perhaps give him clothes and food.
We drove back to the restaurant and George told me that Vincent stayed behind the restaurant, near the dumpsters. As we parked in the back, we couldn’t see him. We called out to him and after a few minutes, a man came out from behind the dumpsters. As he came into the light, I saw a 6’0 tall man in his late 40s with orange hair, thin frame, and a weathered bearded face. I walked over to him and introduced myself and shook his hand. As I shook his hand I just remember he had a very warm handshake and a friendly smile. We began to make small talk but it wasn’t long before he began sharing his story of how he became homeless.
Vincent was from Chicago and worked in the construction business, specifically with high sky rise elevators. He was married to a family practice physician and they had three children. He had a good life making about six figures a year, had a wonderful family and enough money to support a motorcycle/truck collection and a pizza restaurant. He said that he felt on top of the world. He then described to us about the marital problems that began to occur in their relationship. They eventually divorced and he moved out. After the divorce he picked up a heavy drinking problem and lived a life of meeting women, drinking, and excessive spending. During the housing and economic crisis of 2008, Vincent had a hard time getting work. He eventually became laid off and had to consider other job prospects elsewhere. He heard that California had more job opportunities and out of desperation, he moved to California.
Moving to California was a blessing and a failure at the same time. The job situation and prospect was just as poor in California, as it was in Chicago. After two months of trying to find jobs throughout California and Nevada, his savings ran out and finally, he had to live on the streets. The blessing according to Vincent, was that if there was any place to be homeless it was in sunny southern California; as opposed to the frigid climate of Chicago, especially during the winter.
For couple of years he roamed the streets of southern California pan handling, buying cheap fast food, and consuming liquor. The streets were dangerous and he told us horror stories of people trying to rob him, light him on fire while sleeping, and surviving the elements. He told us that recently he had moved up to this location in Grand Terrace because he had injured his knee and wanted to be in a safer location.
After talking for a while, we invited him to stay over at our home. Despite repeated offers, Vincent was very reluctant and said he didn’t want to be a burden on us. We told him that he was welcome to stay at our home when he was ready and asked him what he would need in the meantime. He told us in the most candid and sincere words, that he would love just some new pair of undergarments and socks. Having clean anything was a rarity for the homeless and we were quick to oblige his request. After stopping by walmart and buying him the needed items, we asked if we could pray with him. Vincent said that he was a Christian but hadn’t really prayed for about 4 years and was gracious to have us pray with him. After that, Vincent and I agreed to meet around lunchtime so I could buy him some healthy lunch as opposed to the fast food and canned ravioli, he had been eating for the past years.
The following day we met as agreed at Subway, which was close to his dwelling spot behind the dumpsters. While eating, Vincent began sharing more about his past. He began to express how much he missed his three children and how guilty he felt for abandoning them. Shortly after sharing this, he began to cry in front of me in the restaurant and told me how much of a horrible father he was and that his children would never forgive him. I attempted to console him and tell him that there were some things that happened that were not under his control and there was still hope in reaching out to his children. Vincent didn’t seem very hopeful and said to me that his ex-wife would never let him see the children. He said because she was a doctor, she looked down on him and belittled him for many things. Vincent described his ex-wife as critical, unforgiving, and cold. He said there was no way that his ex-wife would even talk to him, let alone allow him to see his children. I tried to encourage him and told him that God could soften people’s heart. He said to me, “No way, not my wife…she has an ego the size of Texas.”
After we finished lunch, I told him that I had to go to clinical and would come back in the evening. We prayed together and I specifically prayed that God would hear his requests about his children and also for his ex-wife to open her heart. We embraced and I left not knowing that God would answer our prayers that very same day.
As I returned in the evening, Vincent seemed to be very elated. He greeted and told me, “You won’t believe what just happened to me, right after you left.” I was trying to think of possible answers but what I heard just blew me away. He told me that right after I left, he received a call on his cell phone that he hardly uses, and since he didn’t know the number, he didn’t answer. After the call ended there was a voice message. Curious he listened to it and heard the voice of his ex-wife. He let me listen to the message and it said something on the lines of “Hi Vince, I know it’s been a long time but it would be great if we could talk. I heard from a lady about your situation and if you are willing, please give me a call back.” He was so shocked and said to me “Wow, God answered the prayer.” ( God answers prayers before we even ask)
I told him that he should call her back. But he was very resistant and said he would call back some other time. We talked about the phone call for a while and he told me about this other lady named Elizabeth, that was trying to help him. He said that it was probably this lady who called his ex-wife and spoke to her about his situation. I asked for both the numbers of this lady and the ex-wife, just in case he lost his phone. After talking awhile, I told him that I had to leave because of early morning clinical. Before I left, I made one more plea for him to spend the night at our home, instead of this cold damp space behind the dumpster. I even promised him a hot bowl of beef soup but to no avail; he said he wasn’t ready yet. I prayed with him, thanked God for answering his prayer and left.
George and I visited Vincent everyday, providing food and company to our new friend. One night, my roommates and I decided to call Elizabeth and speak with her in regards to helping Vincent reconnect with his family. We called her and on the other line was this kind pleasant woman who also was a Christian, wanting to help this homeless man. She explained to us that she looked up Vincent’s ex-wife’s name and found her medical office number and was able to speak to her in regards to Vincent and his condition. It was also revealed to us from Elizabeth that Vincent might have lung cancer, which was discovered on an x-ray during one of his ER visits to a local hospital. With the possibility of his cancer, Elizabeth had more of a burden to contact the ex-wife in an attempt to reconnect him to his family, in case something happened to him. The ex-wife told Elizabeth that she would call Vincent and try to help him out in whatever way she could.
After finding out about his medical condition, we also had a burden to help this man and became concerned about him being outside in the damp cold weather. We decided with Elizabeth to go together and convince Vincent to come indoors and perhaps even go to the hospital for further evaluation. As we arrived at Vincent’s spot, we heard loud persistent hacking coughs behind the dumpster. We called out for Vincent and found that the source of the coughing was indeed him. As we walked closer to him, we smelled a strong scent of liquor and heard more bouts of coughing. We immediately suggested to Vincent that he needed to come with us into our house, out of the elements. Again he protested against this idea. Elizabeth then frankly told him that she had told his ex-wife and us, about his possible diagnoses of lung cancer. Vincent immediately looked fearful. He kept repeating, “No, no, no why did you tell them!” Elizabeth explained that she had to tell because we were all worried about his health and wanting him to get help. Vincent began to get a little agitated, so we told Elizabeth that we would take care of him tonight because we didn’t want her to be a target of his frustration. She agreed and left us with Vincent.
Vincent began to cry and repeatedly said to us, that he didn’t deserve to live and that Elizabeth shouldn’t have told anyone, especially the ex-wife about his possible diagnoses because he didn’t want the kids to know. We reassured him that we would talk to his ex-wife, to not tell their kids yet. What really concerned us at this time, were his statements regarding not wanting to live and that he deserved to die in a ditch. Working in psych, I was concerned he was suicidal, especially with his drinking.
I began to tactfully and gently probe his statement regarding not deserving to live. Vincent began to pour out his heart regarding his past. He told us about an incident that took place while he was in the military and how during a surveillance mission, he killed a teenager thinking it was an enemy militant.
He told us that he doesn’t sleep well at night because he has nightmares about this incident and about other terrible abuses he had suffered as a child. To make the matter worse, he felt this overwhelming sense of guilt for abandoning his children. That night, he also opened up for the first time about his spiritual struggles and how he felt God had abandoned him for being such a terrible human being. George and I tried to console his broken spirit with promises of God’s word.
We told him how God is faithful in forgiving our sins no matter how bad it may be. I also tried to appeal to him by having him think about his children, especially how they would be affected if they found out their father had given up and found dead on the streets. I also supplemented this thought with reminders of earlier events of the week; in particular, the phone call that was received from the ex-wife and that God was indeed working in his life. This seemed to console him a little and right away I took this opportunity to make an appeal, a verbal contract of sorts, that he would not hurt himself. Vincent agreed and said that he would be willing to move into our home the next morning. I told him a hot bowl of beef soup would be waiting for him and we ended the night with prayer.
We picked up Vincent and his belongings the next morning and brought him to our home. He did not want to stay indoors and after much debate, we reached a compromise of having him stay in the backyard, in a fancy large tent with an air mattress and access to the house. It was around this time that he formally admitted to us about his drinking problem and his addiction to cigarettes. He told us that actually about 2 years ago, he went into an alcoholic rehabilitation program and was sober for a year before he started to drink again. He expressed to us his desire to quit drinking but said that he felt like he didn’t have it in him to go through treatment again. We also tried to talk to him about treatment for his possible medical condition but he was very resistant, stating that he hated the government and wouldn’t take VA benefits to get medical help. During his stay with us, we enjoyed his company and friendship. But we were growing concerned about him reuniting with his family.
During his stay at our home, I tried to encourage Vincent to return his ex-wife’s phone call, to discuss possible arrangements. He said that he wasn’t ready and would call when he was ready. I offered to call the ex-wife first, and with some hesitation Vincent agreed. I called the number and spoke to his ex-wife, (whose name I will keep confidential) and was delighted to hear a woman who was really concerned about the wellbeing of her ex-husband.
She discussed with me about resources that were available in the state of California for the homeless and asked some questions about his condition. I then discussed with her about her thoughts on allowing Vincent to see the children again. She verbalized to me her concerns, especially the fear that he may come back, then leave again and cause more harm. She ultimately wanted to talk to him on the phone and I said I would speak with Vincent. Before she hung up, she asked if it would be ok if she gave my number to Vincent’s sister. I told her it was ok and hung up the phone. I talked to Vincent about our discussion and encouraged him strongly to call back. He said he would do it the next day.
The next day rolled around and I could tell Vincent didn’t sleep much and that he was very nervous about making the phone call. He was telling me that he was rehearsing in his mind what he would say and wondered what her response would be. I finally told him that the only way to find out would be to call her. We prayed and he took the courage to call his ex-wife, the woman whom he thought he would never talk to in a million years.
He stepped outside in the backyard and I was able to hear some words through the sliding glass window. I could hear a lot of crying and what sounded like a civil conversation. He came back inside and began to cry. The first question he asked his ex-wife was, “Do the kids hate me?” The ex-wife reply was, “No, Vincent, they don’t.” After some bout of crying he told us how his ex-wife was willing to work out something for him to see his kids again. One major concern was of course, the drinking. He said that he now had the renewed motivation to seek help and give up drinking.
Vincent told us about the alcohol rehabilitation program he has gone through about 2 years ago. It was a rehab center located not far from Loma Linda. He said that this place had a good program and would prefer to attend there again. We called the rehab center, spoke to admissions and immediately ran into a snafu. Turned out the wait list was about 1-3 months and apparently there were some funding issues from the county and a bed may not be available for someone in his situation that couldn’t pay. We explained Vincent’s situation to this lady at admissions and she said the best she could find was a detox program, which would be for only two weeks. Vincent was very discouraged and he told us, “Guys I can’t become sober with only two weeks, I need at least a month.” The lady was nice and said for us to call back the next day to see what opened up. With much prayer, we gave our petitions to God to open doors for Vincent.
The next day came and we called the office hoping for some good news. The admissions lady told us that surprisingly there was some “county beds” (which are paid by the county) that opened up recently and that Vincent would be able to enroll into the full 3-month rehabilitation program, which starts in about 3-4 days. It was amazing to see that God had indeed, opened doors and we were all ecstatic about this new development. We praised God and I could tell that Vincent was becoming more and more hopeful about his future. It was during this time that Vincent began to share with us that he felt God was indeed working in his life and we could see the hope that was developing in his heart.
I drove Vincent to the rehabilitation center and I could tell that Vincent was very nervous about being in rehab. He told me that detox was one of the hardest parts of the program because you would go through withdrawals and many clients would at times get hospitalized. I encouraged him and reminded him of the promises of God. Another thing we did before he started the program was giving him two books: Steps to Christ and the Great Controversy. We prayed that these books would be a blessing and bring him encouragement during these rough times. But to be honest, I sort of had my doubts that he would be reading these books, especially since he was the type that was so nervous all the time and I didn’t think he could sit down and read. I prayed with Vincent and promised to visit periodically during his program.
Once Vincent was in the rehabilitation program, my roommates and I settled back to our old routines. But I remember a day that brought an interesting surprise. Behind our house, we have a walking path that circles trees and a small make shift creek. I was walking outside around noon and I received a call on my cell phone. It was an odd area code and curious, I decided to answer. A lady asked if I was Shawn and after I acknowledged her question, she said that she was Vincent’s sister, Tyna. She began crying on the phone and I was sort of taken aback because of this unexpected call. It was a little awkward at first, but then she explained to me that for 15 years she wondered and would stay up at night wondering if her brother was alive or dead. After hearing this, it broke my heart and immediately I began to share how we found Vincent. Tyna began to ask what seemed like the a hundred questions. “How does he look? How is his health? What is he doing now?” I patiently answered all her questions and we talked for a good two hours. We began to then discuss his future and his options for coming back home and reuniting with his family. Tyna told me that she would get a plane ticket and try to visit Vincent at the rehab center, as soon as possible.
About three weeks later, Tyna called and said she was going to visit all of us in California. My roommates and I met Tyna at a Thai restaurant, not too far from the Ontario airport. It was startling to see a woman who had so much resemblance to Vincent, even though they were only half siblings. Tyna was a warm and gregarious woman and it wasn’t long before she started sharing about her personal life. She told us stories of life on the east coast, running a successful business with her husband, and how she loved gardening.
Eventually she brought up Vincent and began sharing with us some stories that helped us to understand some of the hardships he endured when he was younger. She told us heartbreaking stories of psychological and physical abuse Vincent suffered because of his stepdad. She told us the anger and resentment he held in his life growing up and the destructive ways he coped with his negative experiences. It was interesting to hear that Vincent was an extremely muscular macho guy who would beat up guys at a drop of a hat, which seemed totally contrary to the Vincent, we knew now. He had a temper that caused him to get in bar fights and scary fits of road rage. Vincent would drink all the time and would spend hundreds of dollars on drinks a night with his friends. He began a downward spiral being with different women, drinking, and not spending time with his family. Tyna reached out to him but for a man who was used to making six figures and taking care of himself, he couldn’t endure the blow to his pride in accepting help.
Tyna also shared with us the series of events that led him to be estranged from his wife, children and eventually her. One aspect Tyna brought up was that Vincent was very popular with women. He rode motorcycles, was buff, had money. Tyna bluntly put it that eventually he cheated on his wife. This inevitability led to a divorce and as a result he only saw his children on certain weekends. The inability to see his children whenever he wanted was a crushing blow, and not being involved in every aspect of their lives, fed his frustrations. (Vincent later told us that he went from being on top of the world, to being at his lowest, at what seemed like overnight.)
Tyna tried keeping in contact with her brother but it seemed like he dropped off from the face of the earth. For years afterwards, Tyna wondered what happened to her brother, if he was even dead or alive.
The next day, Tyna met with her brother at the rehabilitation center. Both Vincent and Tyna called us later that day and expressed how great it was to visit each other. They caught up to speed on their lives and shared old memories together. Tyna eventually shared with Vincent that she wanted him to move back to Chicago and restart his life with a brand new slate. Tyna was practical and wanted Vincent to go into a transitional rehabilitation center to make sure he didn’t relapse. Vincent was resistant to this idea but later agreed to these conditions. Tyna stayed for only about a couple of days and flew back for work.
My roommates and I went to visit Vincent multiple times during his stay at the rehabilitation center. There is one particular experience I want to highlight: I gave Vincent a copy of the Great Controversy on the first day of him entering rehab. At some point, I went home to Northern California and I began reading this book for the first time. I was immediately captivated by The Great Controversy and read about a quarter of the book by the end of my stay at home. I went to visit Vincent after coming back to southern California and after some small talk, I sort of whimsically asked Vincent if he had read the book I gave him. I had this doubt in the back of mind that he probably didn’t read it and most likely wouldn’t be interested in reading it. He answered without missing a beat, and with this surprising enthusiasm, “I love that book!” I was taken aback and felt ashamed of my presumptive thinking. Vincent began to say how interesting the Great Controversy was when I asked him how much of it he read. Ashamedly I slipped back to my old habits, and with pride of a fourth-generation Seventh Day Adventist Christian thought, “He probably didn’t read more than I did.” But God is good and humbles the proud, Vincent told me he read about more than halfway through the book and I decided to save a little face and said, “I read around that much too.” We began to excitedly reminisce about the book and share the blessings this book had told us.
Eventually, Vincent was graduated from the rehab program. I was unable to attend the graduation but my roommates went. They told me, the staff and clients were really excited for Vincent being able to graduate. He apparently had shared his testimony of how God had brought him this far and many clients/staff at the facility were inspired with his story. When it was his turn to receive his certificate, my roommates told me that he received the greatest applause and congratulations. This event was a most positive experience in his life, a sharp contrast to the direction his life may have been going. Vincent was finally seeing the bigger picture of his life and how God was leading him step by step, into a different direction in his life.
After graduating from alcohol rehabilitation, Vincent stayed for about two weeks at our house. During this time, his sister Tyna was attempting to locate a proper transitional program home for him in Chicago, and set up a flight to bring him back home. The two weeks he stayed with us was a huge blessing. He cooked for us; we took him out to see parts of San Diego, and we would have long walks in the park just talking about life and God.
Throughout our time together, Vincent would periodically bring up the question, “Why did God allow this to happen to me.” I remember the Holy Spirit impressing me to tell him of the story of Moses and how he went from being the prince of Egypt to a lowly shepherd. I remembered a sermon about how Moses was in the desert for forty years and that it may have taken him that much time to decondition from being a prince full of pride and power, to one of a lowly shepherd. I suggested to Vincent that maybe he’s living the life of Moses right now. He would shrug and ponder the similarities.
But one day while walking in the park together, he surprised me when he said, “I’m understanding now why God allowed these things to happen to me.” Curious, I asked him to elaborate. “Well maybe I had to get to this point in my life of being homeless, for Him to reach me. I mean, just seeing how God is working in my life now shows that there is a plan, and God’s taken me this far, right?”
I quickly affirmed this revelation and added “Yes your right, God didn’t take you this far to pull the rug right out under you, that would be just too cruel.” Then Vincent topped it off when he said “You know, I actually thank God for allowing me to be homeless, it’s the best thing that’s happened to me. I mean who do you know that goes through this kind of experience? I’ve grown closer to God and now understand the meaning of my life.” I was praising God! I honestly thought Vincent would forever be bitter and angry towards God. But for him to turn around and actually thank God for his riches to rags experience, was mind blowing.
Tyna called me after a week and said that she found a perfect transitional home in Illinois that would allow him to work and slowly transition out to the community. We were all excited to hear the news. Vincent was still a little apprehensive about the prospect of starting this new life but I could see the determination. He wanted to stay sober and start his life in the right direction, especially with the possibility of seeing his children again.
It was around this time that he received a letter from his ex-wife. The letter essentially expressed her concerns about the possibility of him being part of the children’s lives again. Her main concern was that she didn’t want the children to see their father again, just to see him disappear out of their lives and leave them even more devastated. So the ex-wife stated her conditions: she wanted him to be sober, have a steady job, and good living conditions for a year. After that, if she felt that he could be a stable, consistent part of their lives, she would agree to them reuniting. Vincent became very upset about the letter and thought it was unfair for him to be deprived of the right to see his children. I gently tried to suggest to him that she was only doing what she thought was best for the children, and that this was not a cruel act from her to keep him separated from the children. After some time and a lot of venting, Vincent began to understand this point of view.
Soon, it was the day of Vincent's departure. I could not take Vincent to the airport due to clinical, and so I gave him my last hug and prayer at the front door. He kept saying with tears in his eyes, “You guys saved me, you guys saved me.” To this I replied, “Please Vincent, its God who used us to help you.” With one last warm embrace I saw this man who had slept behind a dumpster with overgrown orange hair, who was hopelessly in despair, to a man who now had the hope of a better life and a restored relationship with the Lord.
This experience has taught me so much about the Lord. When George was impressed to talk to the homeless man, which in hindsight we believe was the Holy Spirit, he stopped and followed through with this prompting. Have you ever been prompted by the Holy Spirit to do something only to rationalize it out to fear? Only to find out later if we had only followed through, a tremendous blessing would have followed? If George never followed through and walked away, I would never have experience this incredible blessing.
It reminds me of the story of Ananias in Acts 9:10. God tells Ananias, through a vision, to meet a man named Paul and to put his hands on Paul, that he may receive sight. At first, Ananias hesitates because he had heard about Paul and how he persecuted Christians. But the Lord prompted him to go, and as a result, Ananias blesses Paul, who later becomes one of the greatest missionaries of the early Christian church. I challenge you to follow the promptings of the Lord, and see how the blessings will follow.
When Vincent was expressing his doubts about his ex-wife calling, God was already working behind the scenes to answer our prayer. This brings to mind Isaiah 65:24, “Before they call, I will answer, while they are still speaking I will hear.” God is already making provisions for you behind the scenes for the time of trials and needs. This is the kind of God we serve.
Recently my agnostic friend challenged me regarding my faith and practice as a Christian. He presented to me an analogy. He asked me: if a citizen runs up to a police officer and says, “Sir my house is being robbed, please help. Wouldn’t you expect the officer to uphold his duty in serving the public?” Or if a citizen runs up to a fireman and says “Sir, my house is on fire. Wouldn’t you expect him to serve his duty and fight the fire?” So then if a citizen walks up to a Christian and asks, “sir/ma’am I am in need of food, clothing, or a place to stay; what is a Christian expected to do?”
I ashamedly think at times, I helped enough to last a lifetime. But this is analogous to a police offer saying to a citizen being robbed “I’m sorry but I saved enough people today, there more police officers around they need to pick up the slack.” Can we be off duty Christians? Is there such a thing? Can we get away with doing a few good deeds and put away our Christian garb for the rest of the day?
My friend is disillusioned with Christians because he knows so many who profess to be but when it comes down to performing the duties of a Christian they act as if they are “off duty.” Yes we are all at different phases in our Christian experience, but let us ask God to challenge us to grow up to be mature Christians in practicing our faith. The challenge to you, and especially to me, is let us remember that being a Christian is a full time commitment and that we are on call 24-7. Let us be true to our calling.
Just to clarify, I am in no way promoting salvation by works, but I want to highlight James 2:22 which says “Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?” Doesn’t it make sense that if we have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, to do what He has called us to do?
Am I promoting that we should let homeless people into our homes in droves? Give money to every homeless person we see? What we did for Vincent was guided by the Holy Spirit every part of the way. We must ask for the guidance from the Lord in our attempt to help those in need, because many times what we think would help, actually may enable or make worse a problem that they have. Before he left, Vincent said something funny, “Don’t you guys ever do this again with another homeless person, you guys are crazy!” But when the Lord convicts us to help some stranger, let us not harden our hearts, and trust He will guide.
Please keep Vincent in your prayers.
Currently working as peritoneal dialysis nurse in riverside. Serving as a co-leader for out reach ministries at the Riverside Korean Sda church. Enjoy hiking, biking, and photography.