The Cycle
The Cycle: something that repeats itself over and over again usually in the same steps.
Understand the cycle
If someone is nice to you, it's natural to be nice in return and to those around you. If someone smiles at you, it's natural to smile in return. If someone forgives you for messing up, it's natural to forgive him or her and be more forgiving of others. This is the good cycle.
If someone bully's you, you may get hurt, sad, and angry. It may cause you to become a bully yourself. Perhaps it will make you think you are worthless. If someone cheats on you, you may cheat on them in return or think that all guys or all girls are untrustworthy. If someone cuts you off when you're driving, you may become aggressive yourself. This is the bad cycle.
Break the Bad Cycle
Naturally, you will continue the bad cycle unless you understand it and stop it with God's power! Our natural, carnal mind is death. (Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him. Rom 6:8) Revenge is a natural reaction that does not satisfy for long. The pain and hurt that sin (disobedience to God) causes can be unbearable at times. You may search for substances or activities that will relieve the pain and hurt if only a little while. This is the natural human response. Perhaps you have tried to change with little or no results. You may feel hopeless. Good news. There is hope!
God wants us to live in the good cycle and he promises to help us. (A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them. Eze 36:26-27) You can ask God right now to help you break the bad cycles and live in the good cycles. If you believe it, your eyes will open to God's guidance. You may meet a new friend who loves God, you may be reminded by God when you are about to continue the bad cycle, you may get these gut feelings not to go to certain places, or any number of other things.
What helps me is spending time with God by praying and reading the Bible with an open heart. Often I will pray “God, please anoint my lips and my soul with grace that I might impart it to all those I come into contact with today.” Auntie Ellen wrote that this was the prayer of Jesus when he was walking this earth! When we start thinking about others, and take the focus off of ourselves, good things happen!
When someone cuts me off while I'm driving, I imagine how many times my mom and dad have cut people off. I need to be cut off many more times to make up for the times that my parents have been bad drivers. The truth is we all need grace. We all make mistakes. Why do we get so upset when others make mistakes against us?
Another thing I think about it how much God has forgiven me for being proud and evil. I have been a terrible representation of Him for most of my life. Evil gives birth to evil. Good gives birth to good. When we stop putting ourselves as the #1 priority in our lives and put God and others there instead, we may be surprised at how few things bother us!
Without God's help, we are doomed to continue in the bad cycle. Thank God that Jesus was sent to this earth to take the punishment that we deserve. It's only because of this that we have the hope of breaking the bad cycle that leads to dead and live in the good cycle that leads to life!
The Good Cycle
Do you know someone really mean? Maybe evil? Most likely that person has experienced a lot of pain and hurt. Jesus commands us to love our enemies. This makes sense! When someone is rude or mean, they will normally get a negative response and they are probably used to it and expect it. Do you think they will be shocked or confused when you are nice to them in return? Yes! Here's a conversation from 12/16/15:
--> Your welcome. Show God’s love to everyone you meet today!
Thanks. Always try and strive to show love :)
--> Especially to the mean ones!
Haha u know anytime u show extra love to those and LISTEN to them, they never are! I just had a patient that everyone said was a crank and good luck getting him to do anything for u. Just listened to him for awhile and showed some extra care and he was as sweet as could be! :)
--> Yea the cranky ones are the ones in need
True dat!
Those who have had difficult lives need extra grace and love. We cannot give that extra grace and love without being filled from God first. When you feel like you're out of grace and love to give, ask God to refill your tank! It's only when God is living in us that we can live the good cycle. Most of the people around us are in the bad cycle and will push us into the bad cycle if we are not careful.
My challenge for you: Think of the top 2 people that are on your “I don't like you!” list. These people are probably the ones that you fight with or avoid at all costs.
1. Pray for God to do specific good things in their lives.
2. Pray for God to give you love and grace for those people; specifically a God-given smile for them.
3. Make eye contact and smile at them the next time you see them!
Repeat this cycle!
Mike Cho recently graduated with a Master of Divinity from Andrews University and seeks to be a friend of God and a friend of man.