The Problem with Social Fellowship Utopia
One of the most shocking data I’ve gleaned recently is how many of our young adults that enjoyed great fellowship in churches near our Adventist Colleges/Universities drop out of church when relocating to Loma Linda (or other post-college graduate schools & metropolitan areas).
There are students that somehow do find and get accepted into a family-like, closed, exclusive Adventist fellowship (or group) during their college years. They only get in due to people they know, knew or because they quickly decipher, adapt and fluently speak the cliquish code (i.e. when to talk, be late, look tired, or say/do something funny, etc.) of their subculture.
[As for the other outsiders (i.e. “foreigners,” older people, younger kids) that do not know this code, there’s no hope.]
As for those who are inside — while it lasts, it feels great. The spiritual, family-like, exclusive nature of the fellowship is almost intoxicating. The endless opportunities for deeper connections through small groups, retreats and other church activities are making them feel more spiritual. And their hearts catch on fire when spotting a “hot opposite-sex” in their fellowship — who seems to be like . . . so amazingly talented (guitar, piano, voice) & spiritual.
In these meetings/gatherings/events — they don’t really study the Bible. They just hear great speakers, fellowship with great food, have heart-to-heart conversations, lots of warm-hugs, quick prayers, and maybe read a couple of Bible verses.
The warm-fuzzy they feel all inside is undeniably awesome. Be it Friday night vespers or Sabbath beach days and sundown worship; whenever they’re in these settings — it’s like a “fix” they needed for another day or week of life.
And as for reaching “outsiders ”— they sometimes do outreach (like once a month or semester) with all the “inside people”— and they feel so good together as insiders. They feel nice, kind and yes, spiritual. They’ve done their duty and they can go on and be an exclusive group.
Then, they go on to the next stage of life, outside their bubble, and relocate to a place that has no such spiritual fellowship utopia. They try to find or even replicate the same thing; but it just doesn’t work. (A few are lucky and do find or create such an environment.) It’s just not the same. There are no more warm-fuzzies, no such exclusive, family-like, Adventist minority subculture they can be a part of. And there’s no more great speakers or hot spiritual opposite-sex to turn to. They definitely do not have a foundation or discipleship training they can fall back on. They simply weren’t equipped to be faithful. Rather, they were simply catered & helicopter-nurtured to constantly rely on fellowship and more fellowship.
This isn’t to say that there’s no place for such fellowship. There definitely is. But if fellowship isn’t simultaneously & intentionally executed with discipleship — fellowship is all they have, a distant memory of some good ole’ times w/ bunch of Adventist college buddies which is non-compatible with their currently reality as a post-college young adult in the real world.
Pastor Justin Yang is currently the CYE Ministries Director at Center for Youth Evangelism at Andrews University and a happy father for Enoch Yang.