English Compass - bringing christian fellowship to korean americans

To Gain Christ

“I want to play changgi with you one more time, daddy.”

I was sobbing, kneeling before the bed where my father was dying of liver cancer.  Through my tears, I said, “I will be faithful to the Lord until He comes, so I can see you again. See you in heaven.”

This was the last conversation I had with my father, and this promise that I made before both my earthly and heavenly father has been the foundation of my life for the past eight years.  I have made every decision based on its value for God’s kingdom, and God has revealed the principles of His government through my study of Scriptures and the Spirit of Prophecy.  I realized that humanity has been alienated from God because of our failure to believe that God is love and desires the best for us.  Unbelief in God has deterred us from reaching the high ideal of God for our utmost happiness.

For example, the blessings promised in the Sabbath commandment are not fully appreciated even by Seventh-day Adventists.  We do not spend the time studying nature or reaching out to lost souls.  We don’t believe He means it when He says “the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it” (Exodus 20:11).  But whoever keeps the Sabbath by thinking about the Creator and ministering to others experiences true rest.  Not only that, but they also inspire non-believers to respond to the Creator’s invitation to rest.

This conviction of the immeasurable value of the Sabbath made me willing to risk living in prison for one year and two months. Although so many people, including Adventists around me, ridiculed the seemingly fanatic decision I made in the army, I showed no willingness to compromise in this matter. The fact that the Korean government doesn’t respect the sacredness of the Sabbath and makes soldiers go to shooting ranges on Friday nights did not deter me from my faith that God does not command what is impossible.  God’s love for me gave me the courage to stand like Jesus before Pilate and Luther before the Diet; before the military court, I stated, “I know. I am crazy before your eyes, but I am blameless before Christ, and that is enough. I don’t need men’s praise. God’s approval is the only thing I value in this life.”  My heart was filled with joy and peace that come from perfect harmony with the law of God. In His hands, I had no fear.

Although many might say I lost many things by allowing myself to have a criminal record, I dare to tell them that I didn’t lose anything by having become a prisoner, for I gained Christ.  For example, in the prison, He taught me how to listen to His voice from the word of God, which I could not hear when I held on to the thoughts of doubt from Satan. Especially, I learned the power of the meekness of Christ which gave me an abiding peace of Christ even when my cell-mates gave me a hard time by being rude.  I meditated on the love of Christ, which flowed into my nervous and distressed mind to soothe my anxious spirit and wounded pride. When Christ’s love is in me, I can love others no matter how they treat me, because His power of love prevails over Satan’s wrath. I was also able to keenly feel the need of diligence as I worked as a shopping bag assembly worker, a delivery boy, and a nurse’s assistant in the prison hospital.

One unforgettable and painful lesson I learned from Christ was the importance of strict honesty before God.  While I was working at the prison hospital, I forgot to give a patient’s health record to a doctor, which was noticed by the guards.  I then fabricated the document, thinking no one would find out.  When I was investigated about this false prescription, I lied so that I would not become ineligible for parole.  However, God had seen and revealed my secret sin to help me realize my deceitful character and make me a better instrument in His hands.  Two weeks later, completely humbled by His high standards and kind forgiveness for my filthy duplicity, I was able to give Bible studies to some prisoners every week for two months before I was released on parole.  God could not use a self-righteous hireling, but He could use an empty and contrite servant who was willing to let the Holy Spirit renew his heart.  As a result of my inward surrender to Christ, the prisoners around me felt the outward display of Christ’s character.  My cellmate voiced his appreciation for my loving care and later bought a Bible for himself.

Now I understand why God wanted to send me to prison. He had his children in the prison, too, for whom Christ died. I want to go back to prison not as a prisoner but as a Seventh-day Adventist civilian who has the gospel of Christ to uplift the prisoners’ lives. People there are searching for the truth of Christ’s forgiveness which alone can restore their tempted and weary hearts.  I want to help them escape the slavery of sin and become willing subjects of God’s unchangeable law.

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Jaehwa Shim is reaching out to students at University of Michigan and Eastern Michigan University as a missionary intern at the Center for Adventist Ministry for Public University Students, which is located in Ann Arbor, MI. He studied English and Education at Sahmyook University in Korea and at Andrews University in MI and is planning to go back to Korea to become an English teacher and to train students at the Adventist secondary schools to become missionaries for the Lord.