Who’s Your Daddy?
As I am writing this, my dad is somewhere in North Korea. Don’t worry; it is his third trip there so he knows what he’s doing. He’s a dentist and setting up a clinic, but of course I cannot say for sure since we have no way to contact him. He will be back in a couple weeks if everything goes as planned, but there is certainly a possibility that he may not come back.
Dad knew this beforehand, but he left with only one concern: how to show the people in North Korea that God loves them, without being able to say so explicitly. Imagine doing a mission trip under the constant threat of imprisonment if you mention God’s name. My dad went anyway, trusting that “with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matt 19:26).
I love my dad and admire his strong faith, and I know that I am exceptionally blessed to have such a wonderful father to look up to. However, I have found that intact families are not as common as they should be. The divorce rate continues to climb, and the Adventist community is not exempt from this trend.
During my first couple years at Andrews, I was taken aback to find that so many of my peers came from broken and/or unhappy families. Unfortunately, I do not have a solution to this widespread problem, nor can I honestly say I know how painful it is to be abandoned by my father. All I know is that the pain we feel on this earth helps us look forward to our perfect home.
The family system was designed to help us learn more about God. As a child, we look up to our parents as the physical examples of God’s character, experiencing both love and discipline. I do not know if this is just among Korean-American teens, but telling shocking and/or hilarious stories of our worst beatings seems to be an effective way to bond. Even though we cringe at the memories, we know that our parents meant it for the best and did it out of love. They basically quoted Proverbs 13:24 (he who spares his rod, hates his son) while we cried out for mercy. In the end, we will probably do the same to our own children. Although I’m not a parent yet, I understand that being a parent helps us taste what God must feel, when we try to protect and guide naïve little children safely along the path of life.
Kids are always asking the question, “why?” to the point that we just yell at them to be quiet and do what we say without asking questions. I imagine that God feels the same way when we question His instructions and, instead of listening to Him, choose to go where we decide best. We are humbled when we realize we are but little children in comparison to God’s wisdom. There are a lot more intricacies in the family system than I haven’t delved into; my point is that although this structure is designed to help us learn about God’s character, the result of corruption and Satan’s attack on marriages is that we often get a skewed picture of God.
Of course, this does not mean that just because you come from a broken home you are doomed to forever have a messed up image of God. I am certain that He will gladly repair your hurt and show you His true character if you simply ask. To be frank, every family is dysfunctional no matter how perfect it may seem on the surface. Even if you have a wonderful father who seems to be the perfect role model, no earthly father can be a substitute for God the Father.
Though as a child we may have looked to our dad or mom as the ultimate authority, as we mature physically and spiritually, we must learn to give God the final say in what we do. In this way, regardless of whether you started with a terrible or absent father figure, everybody ends up with the same perfect Father who loves us boundlessly and will never abandon us in our time of need. Think about it this way: it is like everyone getting a free upgrade to the newest and best cell phone, even if some had the second best one or did not have a phone at all. However, this analogy of a simple upgrade does not nearly portray the fullness of joy and security that we can obtain by accepting the king of the universe as our Father.
We need not be devastated with disappointment from our earthly parents as long as our Creator is looking on us with pride. As a terribly indecisive person, I can personally say that it is a huge relief to have the security of knowing that God is in control of my life and has my ultimate happiness in mind. I move forward trusting that the all-knowing God will guide my footsteps. I thank God for giving me a loving father who inspires me to be a better Christian, but I thank Him even more for being the perfect Father who takes delight in taking care of anyone who needs and calls for him.
Originally from Georgia, Jamie Kim will be a senior at Andrews University. She is a biology major with an emphasis in neuroscience.